Teach Me Intention

There was a time in my life when alcohol was something I used to escape a life I didn’t really want to think about. It was well needed distraction at a period where not very much could keep me distracted. And my intention in all of it was something less then wholesome.

Because of that, I became very unhealthy and the people around me saw it. They knew the place I was in and that I was going downhill. They tried to help me, but in the end all they could do was wait until I was ready to come out of it.

Later on when I was back on track and in a healthy place, I had a drink. It had been a while since I had touched one and in the beginning I felt bad for dropping back into a routine that used to be horrible for me. But overtime, I noticed that things had changed. Now, when I drank, it was just to have a drink. Just to enjoy time with friends. Just to lay back. The unhealthiness of it all had vanished. I wasn’t trying to escape anymore.

I was thinking about this last week and It came to me. The big difference between the two different periods of my life was one thing: Intention.

I noticed it applied to everything in my life. Everything comes down intention. You can do one thing with bad intentions and ruin your life. You can also do the same thing with good intentions, and forever change your life for better. But either way, it came down to the intention you had going into it.

It has me examining my life and the things I do everyday. But more importantly, it has me examining my intention in all my actions. In doing so, I have noticed certain things where my intentions are downright bad. And in those instances, I see that I need to drop it. But I have also noticed that there are certain things that I might not be doing because I thought it wasn’t good for me, but I see now that at that time my intentions were bad. Now however, with better intentions, these things can be apart of my life and actually be positive.

Intention is everything. It makes or brakes something. What are your intentions?

Teach Me To Change My Stripes

Years ago, I was a lost boy traveling an endless dirt road that had no foreseeable ending. And because it had gone on so long, everyone around me had began to think it was a permanent change. In doing so, I began to believe it as well. Even more, the thought of going through all the work in order to change myself seems to be an insurmountable challenge. After all I’ve been told you can’t change your stripes.

But there was a little sliver of hope inside of me that wanted to prove that that idea was wrong. I was a depressed, 265lb, lost cause. But something inside of me pushed me one step ahead and only worried about that one step. But that wouldn’t be enough to change my stripes. I needed a bigger motivation.

It finally came to me when I realized how selfish it was to remain the same. I wasn’t giving my friends my best, my family my all, or my work the time it deserved. And the thing was, there were some people in my life giving me their all in spite of what I wasn’t doing.

I knew from there on, that I might not be able to change my stripes solely for me, but maybe, if I kept all those people in my life in mind, that I could do it successfully. And you know what, it was the golden ticket to a new and satisfying life.

Over time, I got healthy. I went down to 190lbs, and I allowed the depression to take it’s course and found that at the end of that tunnel was the warmth of the sun and loving people under it. My passions came back, and slowly but surely, I pursued them and found more hope in them. And lastly, I finally opened up the dudgeons of my mind and let others in.

All this to say, you CAN change your stripes. It may take two years of hard work that might even seem useless at certain points, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Believe you can make a change. Believe you can be better. Believe there is a reason to change. And if you can’t even do that, then look around at the way others around you are being short changed because of the way your life is, and do it for them.

If you can’t motivate yourself, let others do it for you. Push hard and allow yourself to finally let go of all of that selfishness. When you do, you would be surprised how quickly those stripes of yours do change.

New Post Later Today!

I’m back with my first new post in a month. It will be up later today when the california sun is high in the air.

Thanks again for sticking with this blog and me.

Zack Kendall