Teach Me To Keep Starting Over

Yesterday I talked about the need to finish and what comes with doing that. It is very rewarding. But your work is never really finished. The problem is though, sometimes were tired and we want it to be. When you finish something, you are happy at what you accomplish. But then you get this joy at being done and the idea of starting over on something new, to continue your life, can be hard.

There have been many times where I have finished something that was a huge achievement in and of itself. And on that day I celebrated. But then the next day came and all the joy I felt from finishing was waning and it was time to get started on something new. To start over at the beginning and work my way through another journey to a new finish line.

Thing is, I didn’t start over. I didn’t start something new. I just sat there paralyzed in the fear of the new and the big fear of having to go back to the beginning again. For a while I just lived off the small amount of joy left from what I had finished, but eventually there was nothing left and I was nothing anymore.

I talk about this because everyday I still deal with this. And I’m sure you do to. We go out and we exercise, we eat right and we conquer the day. In the morning we praise ourselves for we have accomplished, but then we look to the new day and realize we have to do it all over again and over time that kills us.

But we CAN’T let it. we can’t stop just because were tired or afraid. We have to push on and conquer another day. Conquer another project. See another DREAM realized. It’s the only way we will be able to live happily without regret.

And for people like me, continuing to do the things I have to do even when I’m tired, keeps me healthy, keeps me on track, and HONESTLY it just keeps me sane.

Teach Me Inspiration

I use to think inspiration was something you waited around for. Something hidden away in the secrets of humanity. I use to think it was something magical that would grace you with its presents when it decided it was time that you needed to see it.

That’s what I use to think. But I was naive. I was under the impression that good things just come out of nowhere to people that wait there for them without ever doing anything on our own. But here’s the problem with that, when I went about living my life this way, things weren’t working out that well. And well inspiration was rarely knocking, if ever.

That’s when I came to know true inspiration. More importantly I came to know how to summon it more then just once a month or even once a year. Now this might sound small, but it helped me to achieve some of things that I have today.

The big secret: you go after inspiration, not the other way around. You sit at your desk every day and you put the time in whether you feel like you want to or not. It’s a simple as that. Putting in time each and everyday towards the things you love.

Inspiration comes to those who work at finding it. Inspiration comes to those to put in the time on the days, when all the work your doing is boring you to death. Inspiration comes to those who show up everyday whether they think they will be inspired or not.

And you know what, I did just that. I put the time in. I showed up to practice every week even when we had no singer. We played through our set of songs, even when we already played them for months over and over and over. We continued to show up and search for a singer even when a ton had come through and nothing had even scratched the surface of what we wanted.

But we kept at it. And guess what. We found our singer. Inspiration hit us immediately. Within four weeks, we had written six brand new songs that were not only better then out previous material, but fit our new singer perfectly.

So if your having a hard time getting INSPIRED, take a look at how you are trying to achieve it. If you find that your just sitting there waiting for it come, I’m sorry, I have tried that. It never really showed up.

The only way to be inspired is to sit there and do your work. EACH DAY, EVERY DAY. Basically it comes looking for you, when you finally start looking for it.

Teach Me To Finish

I always start a writing project so excited. I have so many ideas for what I can do in the story and so many twists to keep the reader entertained in what I have to say. And you know in the first few days I am going full bore at it hoping that soon I will already see the finish line.

Then comes my problem. In time, the fun leaves and your left with work. Just hard old fashioned work. That’s when things get interesting. Anything and everything gets in my way to try and stop me. And because of this a lot of times I will stop and just move on.

Every now and then though, a project would come along that I just couldn’t pass up. When this happened, things were different. I knew all the obstacles ahead of me and yet I didn’t care. Instead I just wanted to see where this thing would go and because of that I got to.

This was also the same with music, getting healthy, friendships, family and any other challenge I came across. When I decided to just keep going and suffer through all that was trying to get me to resist, it started to become easier and easier every day.

Slowley but surely, I wasn’t suffering anymore. Instead I was enjoying what I was doing and the obstacles were just small bumps to get over and I was once again on my way to the finish line.

Another thing about finishing, it feels REAL good. Though the journey  teaches the lesson that will make us work even better next time, the finish line is a small reward that reminds you of what you accomplished and helps cement in your head the lessons you learned on the way to getting there.

So join me and finish that project you started. That thing you were so excited about. You never know, it might turn out to CHANGE the world, the people around you or even just YOU.

Teach Me not to Judge Myself Too Harshly

I may not be my own harshest critic, but I definitely make the Top 5. When it comes to anything I do, I usually am thinking about how much I screwed it up and how much better I could of done. I’ve been a drummer for twelve years and often times in my mind I am no better then when I first started.

I’ve been writing most of my teenage years and my adult years. Six of those in some sort of manner in which it helps me to get closer to a full fledged career. Yet even when I get good feedback on the scripts I write, I still find they are lacking and pedestrian. Never seems to change.

But as with all things, there tends to be a certain moment where I decide to evaluate what I’m doing it my life and find out if it is the best way I could be doing it. Most of the time, when I finally get around to doing this, I realize that I need to change either my thinking or the way I’m living out what I’m doing.

This was no different. I looked back on what I was doing and it was hitting me hard. I was judging myself too harshly. I was looking at what I was trying to accomplish and instead of cherishing the fact that I’m out there continuing to do it, I just tend to look at all the things I’m doing wrong.

Can’t do this anymore. It’s not only that it messes with my confidence and self esteem. Its not only that keeps me from trying to progress and get better and better at it everyday. No the biggest problem with it is that it is one of the sneakiest forms of Resistance that I have ever seen. It’s masked in all these other problems, but at it’s root, it is just trying to keep me from doing what I love to do.

And when I realized that, I knew I couldn’t let it happen anymore. So I started moving past it. I just started taking action without letting the negative sides get me down. And you know what, so far I’ve been doing pretty good. My band is taking off. I’m getting more opportunities to break in to a writing career and life is going smoothly.

Being too harsh a critic on yourself, freezes you in your tracks and before you know it, you find yourself  wondering how you LOST the chance to be in a place you love, with people you love, doing what you LOVE.

Teach Me Not To Worry About Others

The only thing I worry about more then myself is others. When I was younger, my older sister got herself into some trouble and had to go away for a while. During that time, my parents were gone a lot too, tending to her needs. So it was just me, my little sister and my little brother around the house many times.

This went on for a couple of years and slowly I began to feel responsible for them. Wasn’t anybodies fault. Just how things happened and when your watching over two kids that you love more then anything, at some point you start to worry for them like your a parent. Only I was just a kid too. Twelve when it started.

Things only got worse for me. When my parents were around, I was too bossy. When I was with my friends I would constantly worry about them and what they were doing. I began to feel as if I was at the maturity of a twenty year old when I was only fifteen. And thats continued. I still feel a lot older then I really am.

A couple years back I started to realize how much of my time was being taken up by the worrying I did for others. I wasn’t their parents, I’m not people’s guardians. Hell I don’t know that much. I’m still young and naive too (kind of haha). I didn’t want to take on that extra stress anymore and you shouldn’t either.

It’s not our job to manage others (well not mine anyways). It’s not our job to worry about what they are doing everyday or how they are living their lives. It’s just not. We are people with free will and free reign to make the choices we want. Now that also means that it comes with its share of consequences. no doubt about that.

Plus when you think about it, isn’t managing yourself more then enough of a hassle. We have plenty to deal with already when it comes to our own problems, so why add others to the list of our burdens when no one even asked us too.

Now that doesn’t mean you don’t care for people. People need each others help. But it might do us a world of good to wait until they ask and maybe try to listen more then talk and console more then try to solve.

I promise, when you do, you’ll find that your body is a hundred pounds lighter.

Teach Me Not to Worry

Holy crap, can I be a crazy worrier. When I was a kid I would get so worried about anything and everything. I was worried a burglar would break in. I was worried I would grow up to fast and miss all the spoils of childhood. I was worried I wasn’t growing up fast enough. I was worried the robber would enter my sister’s room first and I wouldn’t have enough time to save her.

Point is: I worried A LOT. In fact I was a genuine worrier until about the age of nineteen. At that age, worry had taken over me so much, that I was barely able to get myself out of bed eat morning. Hell.

But in the face of all that worry in some small moment of courage, I decided I had to go face the world and overcome it all. Well at least california. So my friend drove me up to the tip of California and I began traveling back down. Throughout the whole trip, I was fearing for my life at different time.

FIrst was the night I started camping. I laid there wondering what in the world I was doing and how I would make it. Some more fear came when I camped at an abandoned campsite. That night a BEAR came around and scratched on this wooden bathroom where I stashed my food about twenty five feet away from my tent. I was sure I was gone. Another when I was stuck between a fight with two guys in which one was threading to kill the other.

Whatever it was, I constantly felt overwhelmed at certain times. But something else happened on that trip. At a certain point, I had to quiet my fear and just keep going. I had to let go of everything that I felt was haunting me and just walk. That was it. Some days I would walk ten to twelve miles. It’s funny how exhaustion doesn’t give much room for worry.

Slowly but surely as I made my way down california, worry became less and less of a problem and for the first time in a long time I felt free from its clutches. It was a  joyful feeling. When I finally got home, things that use to cause me a ton of worry seemed like nothing. Suddenly worry wasn’t that big of problem anymore. It hasn’t really been since.

Sure I’ve had my phases where it returns, but ultimately I come back to that same idea I had on the trip.

JUST KEEP GOING. KEEP PUSHING ON. THERE WON’T BE TIME TO WORRY.

Teach Me To Enjoy My Happiness

I’ve been told I can get very focused on certain things. In doing so my mindset becomes very narrow and all I can think about is the task at hand and the goals I am trying to reach. Did it high school. Did it in college. And I still do it, even now.

But I was thinking about this last night and how sometimes I completely miss the point on certain things. I don’t realize that all this work I do brings happiness and joy to me because of what I am doing. Instead I just keep focusing on what I am doing because I’m not yet done with it.

I have to learn to stop every now and then and remember that I am happy. That I am doing what I want to do and that everyday I get closer to having all the passions I have become a full fledged career. i have good friends in my life. I have a good family and I can be proud of things I am doing.

Maybe this seems small to you. To be honest I barley even noticed it, until I started to thinking about it last night. But if you have the same problem as I do where you tend to get laser focused on all your doing, you would be surprised how easy it is to miss that day where you transformed from a person in a crappy life trying to make it better, into a person in a life worth living trying to attain their goals and dreams.

There’s not much more to say on this one, except to say that it would be a great idea every now and then to take a break from what your doing and examine how your life is.

You might just find that that sadness or anger has fallen away and been replaced by genuine, sincere happiness.

That is something I get CLOSER to EVERDAY.

Teach Me To Accept Accomplishments

Earlier, I was speaking about accepting praise or compliments from other people. LIke I said that can be hard. But you know what can also be pretty hard for me? Not playing down what I have accomplished when I’m in the middle of trying to accomplish it.

Many times we reach milestones on the journey to our goals and someone might recognize that and let us know. But for me I start to think, oh well I’m not finished yet, or I haven’t done that much, or I didn’t help that person that much. Whatever it may be, I tend to play down the small little successes that come on along the way.

This is just horrible as I look back on it, because it is these very accomplishments that help to give you a little push of motivation to get to the next goal or success. To play that down is to say to yourself that what your doing is not of much worth or really that important to you either.

Instead we have to look back on these things and pat ourselves on the back for making it this far. We need to be proud that we stay committed to something bigger then ourselves for as long as we have. We need to realize that everyday that we are on task, doing what we said we would do (keeping our word to others and ourselves), is another day to be proud of. Each month, another month to be proud of.

When it comes to projects that are meant to influence others, we need to be thrilled with just ONE person takes our words, music, dance, business, cause, charity or anything else to heart. That’s a huge accomplishment to have someone say that what your doing is worth taking note of.

Not doing this doesn’t just hurt us. It’s hurts the people that took the time to see what your doing and praise it. It tells them that their praise was all vain. It’s especially bad when your journey changes someone else’s life and yet you play it down therefore playing down the fact that that person’s life is completely different.

So join me in being better about this. Join me in accepting PRAISE and accepting that what we have done so far is a GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT.

It will bring joy to you and the others who care about you too.

Teach Me To Accept Praise

I’ve been playing the drums for twelve years. When I came upon about three out of those twelve, I started to receive compliments on my drumming. It was the first evidence that I didn’t completely suck at the drums and it’s probably a big reason why I stuck with them and still do today.

Problem is, I suck at receiving compliments from others. It’s a very uncomfortable feeling to have someone praise you. It might just be me, But I just feel like I don’t know what to say to people. In fact I have had people tell me that I don’t take praise very well and it’s taking me a long time to get better at it.

I think part of it stems from the idea that I have been taught to be humble in order to  prolong my success. Letting your ego get in the way of the thing you love to do is a surefire way to bring you down on your knees, because after a small amount of being in the spotlight, it caused you to loose it all.

SO with that in mind, I am always trying to remain humble about what I do in order to make sure that I get to do it for as long as I live. Then compliments come into the equation. On the the one hand they can boost the confidence of someone who isn’t quite sure how they are doing in their little corner. However it also makes me feel like if I take it too seriously, that it will go to my head and before I know it, I’ll be at a dead end job ranting about the glory days of my career.

Hopefully by now you understand why it’s hard to do. Yet when people go out of their way to compliment you, you need to be able to validate what they are saying and let them know how Important it is what they are saying. Since a couple years back I have been trying to accept compliments with genuine gratitude while still remaining humble to what I do. I think the biggest thing I have learned once again is that there has to be a good balance.

So if you ever have  trouble receiving praise like I do, just remind yourself that it is just important that you praise them for the praise they have given you. PEOPLE MATTER. THEIR FEELINGS MATTER. AND YES EVEN WE MATTER TOO.

 

Teach Me To Sleep In

When I was a kid I used to love Saturdays. All throughout the week, we would be getting up at six in the morning to get ready for school and LEARN. But when Saturdays came, it meant that you got to sleep in and that was the best thing in the world. This meant getting up at nine or ten and feeling like I had the whole world ahead of me. It’s amazing the difference of outlook you have with a couple extra hours of sleep.

Well now I’m older and the rules haven’t changed. When you have a lot on your plate that is tiring you out, getting up on time every morning can become a hassle. This is especially true when your routine includes saturday and sunday. For me its exercise. I always get up and get my cardio in, in the morning, But sometimes when you have been doing too much, your body just wants a little rest. One thing I am learning is to pay attention to your body.

So today I slept in. I gave myself an extra hour of sleep. Wow what a difference it made. I feel more rested, more prepared for the day and continue to get everything I need to get done, done. Now you can easily abuse this and in the past I have. You know the phrase give em a inch and they will take a mile. It’s very easy to sleep in one day and then all the sudden it becomes a normal thing. Laziness can set in and then before you know it, once again your not paying attention to your body.

But we all have days sometimes when your just worn down and it feels like you can’t go another day. Remember my post yesterday about getting through one more day. Well this can be another useful tactic to get you through that day.

So when your feeling like crap and you need something to boost your morale and keep you on the path your on, take an extra hour once in a while and SLEEP IN.

It may be the difference between success and almost success (failure).