Teach Me Growth

During my teenage years, my parents had plenty of chores for me to do. Vacuum the house, take the trash out from all the trash cans, clean the pool etc etc. But the one that was always hardest to remember was putting out the trash cans for the trash man (don’t ask me why I couldn’t remember every time).  So every now and then I would forget and after a while they would start to punish me for it. Then if I forgot a couple more time the punishment would get more severe. But even with punishment I always had a hard time being better at it.

I tell you this story because it seems so hard to grow sometimes. We are who we are with all our gifts and all our curses. But often we get chances to grow within ourselves. Chances to be a better person. But so many times, that personal growth is so hard to attain. Instead we would rather stay the same because the alternative may seem too hard.

They say your personality keeps changing because your brain make up keeps changing till about late 20′s when it stops. But even then we have to fight to see the problems or hiccups we have and do our best  to change them.

I often say I want to be the best me, but I catch myself falling into the same traps of frustration, apathy or something else all the time. Personal growth means hard work and just as I said yesterday, nothing worth having ever comes easy.

Teach Me Instant Gratification

So this is a hard one for me. Whether it comes to my weight, my career, the right girl or anything else that takes hard work and more importantly time, I have a problem holding out for the great things.

Instead I want what I want, and oh ya, I want it now. We have all heard the saying nothing worth having comes easy. But whoever said that didn’t mention that while that may be true, it doesn’t change that in order to attain that you have to suffer through each second of each minute of each hour of each day of each month of each year.

Now I may be exaggerating to get a point across, but it’s hard. Ever been on a diet. The night before the first day after you have a had a good meal your like, “I can do this!” But come the first day, at some point the day starts to drag out, your stomach starts to cry out and your mind starts to hand you great excuses for quitting.

However, if you have the will power to push through and somehow, someway make it to the end, it changes everything. Suddenly, the gratification you get from perseverance becomes a hundred times more filling the eating that piece of pizza, skipping an opportunity to advance in your career, or going for the first girl or guy you see.

Instead of pizza making you happy for about 15 minutes, you wake up happy everyday because your in shape and with that comes confidence and self esteem. And instead of that short lived feeling that comes with an easy job, you get that sense of purpose when you have worked tirelessly and finally found yourself in the career of dreams.

Knowing that, It seems better to push for the long term instead of being stuck in the “instant” mindset in the hopes of reach an end much more rewarding then these instant rewards at the beginning.

I’ll end with a quote from Theodore Roosevelt:

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led diffcult lives and led them well.”

Teach Me Laughter

My little four year old nephew Chase is one of the best things that ever happened to me. Whenever I go over to see him, he runs over and gives me a big ole hug and then the laughter  starts. Man can this kid laugh. The even bigger problem: It’s extremely contagious.

You know when this matters the most? When I have had a bad day. So many things in this world can bring you down. But nothing can’t overcome the laughter of child.

Which brings me to what I was thinking about today. We need to laugh more. We need to smile. We need to take five minutes out of our day and stand in the sun. We all have a lot going on in our lives. And a lot of it can bring us down. But we can’t let it.

But if you can’t seem to find something to laugh about, find a friend, a family member, or if you got it: a child. Trust me they can make you laugh till your stomach aches. It’s the best thing in the world.

One more time: Laugh people. Ok I’m done.

Teach Me Growing Up

When I was a little kid, my grandma made me a hanging frame that said “I just want to stay a kid forever.” And for so long I believed that. To me, being a kid was the best part of your life and from there, things were only going to get worse. In fact, I used to talk to my dad about how scared I was about growing up and I would lay awake at night every now and then trying to figure out a way to stay that kid forever.

The thing was, I didn’t understand what it meant to be a grown up. All I saw was responsibility, bills, and a job. But I never saw the freedom that came with growing up. The ability to travel and see the world and the people in it. The gift of all new experiences outside of my comfort zone.

It took me a while to see it. But although I still miss the innocence of childhood, I am thankful for the life that came with growing up. I am thankful for the people, the lessons, the fun, and yes even the work that came with it. I get to experience love, passion for the gifts I have and I get to be moved by others hard work or creative projects. That is something that most kids skim over and completely miss.

Do I miss being a kid? Sure.

Would I want to stay a kid forever, knowing what I know now? No thanks. Each season of your life is important and its important to accept that.

I’ll check back with you when I move into the “growing old” phase. I might have a different answer by then.

Teach Me Silence

I was about seven when a group of burglars broke into our house and vandalized it. While my family walked away from it without any one getting hurt, the next several years were filled with fear. I hated being in the dark and even more I hated when it was quiet. Too quiet.

But then I grew up got over some of my fears (keyword being some) and little by little I got to experience things I never knew were so soothing. One night when I had nothing to do, I walked into my apartment and sat on my couch in complete darkness and more importantly complete silence.

I was amazed at how it felt to just sit there. In the quiet, things become simple. In the quiet, all the chaos of your life is gone and you can work things out. You can see things from a distance and get some perspective.

If your trying to work something out and all the busyness of your life is clouding your ability to work it out, I suggest going home one night and just sitting in silence. You might find that your able to work it out and see beyond it.

Teach Me Restraint

I was hanging out with my friend last week and he was telling me about the startup company he works for and how they had dug themselves into a bit of a hole. Long story short, they had received a commitment by an investor for one million dollars. In the midst of all the excitement, they had evaluated the company and determined that they needed to hire three new people to keep the company expanding.

So they did just that. Within a couple of weeks they had three fresh new hires. Here comes that hole they dug. When it came time for that check to come in………never did. The investor backed out at the last minute. Problem my friend was having is that all of these new hires are family men who need the money to support their families and he was having hard time with the idea of letting them go.

In the end all the top guys at the company decided to take a pay cut so that they could keep these guys on while finding another investor. But what it taught him was a lesson in restraint and making sure the money is there before spending some or really any of it.

I know I have found myself in that position before (not with a million dollars) and his story only reminded me once again that restraint is a key tool in living life, supporting a family, running a business or even a creative project and many other things.

Teach Me Fresh Air

Growing up, I was always forced to go outside and play. That was great when I was a little boy. But as with many in my generation, the onslaught of new video games in my early teens made us want to stay inside and glue ourselves to the screen. It became torture to have to pull me away from the latest game.

Fast forward to now. I along with many of you have so many things that keep us inside through out the day. I have a job that keeps me inside and when I get finished I just want to lay down on the couch and watch some TV.

Funny thing is, when I get outside and go on a hike or on a bike ride it changes everything. It restarts my system and it allows me to feel good again. It’s amazing what a little fresh air can do for you. They say a little time in the sun and a little exercise is a great reliever of stress.

Now things are starting to switch around. I have to force myself to go back inside when I have things I need to do because I would rather be out in the fresh air where I feel the best. I’m guessing this is also a lesson in balance too.

Either way, it’s nice to remember what it means to get outside and feel the breeze…

Teach Me Hellos

 When I was going into eleventh grade, I was set to attend the same small school I had always been at since sixth grade. Problem was, my best friend was heading off to a new school. While I thought I would be cool staying put, at the last minute I decided I had to make the same move.

The thing with any big move though:  the awkward hellos that come with finding yourself in a new place with new people all around you. I remember fumbling over all my words when introducing myself to a class. I honestly just wanted to get past the beginning phase and get to the hang out phase, especially when it came to all the pretty girls around me.

Well this is no different. I’m starting this back up because I like to write. But even more, I like to write about the life that is going on around me. I like to stay open to the new lessons that others teach me (indirectly or not).  But starting up something new comes with that same beginning phase that I just want to get past.

So instead of dragging this out, I am going to just dig right into the life around me and the new things I see everyday. Here’s to hoping a couple of you will want to talk back to me.

Thanks.