Busy Busy

Hey everyone. Sorry I haven’t posted in a week. I have recently finished a movie script and have been working hard to put all the edits together, get the copyright for it and start the process of finding a buyer. It’s all so crazy  to me.

When I first started writing scripts, I felt the same way. It was all new and mysterious. I had to learn how to format it, how to be descriptive of actions rather then a moment and most importantly I had to learn how to tell a story. It has been a journey to write this story and I have enjoyed the joy of writing as well as the hardships of following the story to wherever it goes. What’s even crazier is to be done with a story I was so close to and spent a lot of time on and just  move on to the next one so easily. There’s no big finish line to cross. Just the acceptance that it is completed and the knowledge that it doesn’t stop with one story. You have to keep going, keep telling your stories. And believe me I have a lot of stories to tell.

What is nice however, is to move into a new phase that I am currently having to learn. That is, teaching myself all about how to find the right people to get my story into the right hands and move into a position where I can start to secure value for a talent I have. It’s a nice feeling to know that sometime soon, someone will find value in the talents I have and that’s why I am so excited to be apart of the process.

But when all is said and done: it’s about the story. I love writing stories more and more each day. Even better, I am starting to love reading other’s stories more and more as well. It’s rare to know what you love, but I do and I am thankful for it. And because I know the value in the loving what I do, I am  sure it’s only a matter of time before someone else does too…

Expect more posts soon…

Thanks for Reading.

Adobe’s woes with Apple: Change is good

This week adobe took another blow from the iconic technology company apple. That is they decided to not include the flash plugin on Apple’s newest product, the IPad. While shutting out the plugin is nothing new (The IPhone has never seen the likes of flash), It’s yet another sign that one of the most influential companies in the ever evolving mobile world will not accept the bare minimum that adobe has been putting up.

In fact, Jobs himself said:

They are lazy, Jobs says. They have all this potential to do interesting things but they just refuse to do it…Apple does not support Flash because it is so buggy, he says. Whenever a Mac crashes more often than not it’s because of Flash.

Read More: Wired.com

Most will see this as either a political decision or else the ever increasing restrictions that apple is placing on outside developers in order to keep a closed system in place that is well maintained, well run, and well the most profitable. Thing is, this isn’t very far off. In order for apple to be the best, everything they put out or anything connected with them needs to be the best.

I see this with a different perspective. This all says a lot less about apple and a lot more about Adobe. A company that is not willing to put more time into the development of their product for all platforms, is a company that doesn’t deserve to have there product on all platforms. Instead they need to evolve with the changes in the industry and produce a product that doesn’t crash at the first sign of stress.

Personally, this is a lesson in change and hard work. Too often when we achieve some success, we become stagnant in that place. We stick around that particular playing field believing it’s are best chance at continued success. In certain cases, if it produces the results were looking for long enough, we become entitled. We begin to expect that we deserve success and that it will keep coming to us.

It’s this very process that destroys most companies, most jobs, and most people. The epiphany that we have to change with an ever changing world often comes too late and were left to start all over. That means repeating the long days, the sleepless nights, and the tedious trial and error.

Success never comes easy in first place. Having to achieve it a second time simply because we don’t strive to be the best at what were doing each day, each month, and each year is an unnecessary use of our time and our efforts. Don’t get too caught up with your achievements until all there is, is a memory of them. Stay in the game, keep your focus and be the best at what you do, even if it means changing to do so.

Articles Related to this Post:

Adobe is Lazy: Apple’s Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs at Apple Town Hall Meeting

Short Story – House of Fire

So here’s a short story I wrote . It’s around three thousand words, so brace yourself, but I promise you will like it. Post comments about what you think:

I stood still in my room looking out the glass window at a man whose face held more mystery then it did curiosity. He had planted himself there for about ten minutes now under the willow tree as to not be fully revealed by the orange glare of the city streetlights. In fact he could have been at that tree much longer. I didn’t know. I had only recognized his presence when the wind caused a branch of tree to tap my window. Out of fear that it would break the glass pane, I had shut off the light to inspect its length and width and to make a judgment call on whether I should bring up my chainsaw and prevent a mishap I had no interest in dealing with later on.

But when I turned my light out, there he was standing there and staring up into my room, which was on the second floor of the townhouse I lived in. He seemed to stare at me with piercing eyes, intent on invading my soul and holding it hostage in an effort force me to scream out a crime that in his heart I had already committed. It was odd the way he looked, all worn down and defeated. From what I could see, deep lines had all but taken over his forehead, and he sported a cane that most likely held up his warped left leg. Yet as we stared into each other’s eyes, I myself could see the pain that blackened his heart and the dreadful thoughts that ravaged his mind on an endless basis. He had experienced a tragedy; one that held its tight grip and constricted the life out of you until all that would be left in the end would be a fleshy piece of meat. No loving heart, no inquiring mind, only a lifeless body doomed to walk the earth until it’s physical existence had finally succumb to death.

I closed the blinds for fear that his gripping stare would all but consume what happiness I had acquired over my short twenty-five years of life. I sat down in my chair, listened to the loud music I had going and began to read an article on a hurricane that was blowing through south Florida and taking everything with it. It was engaging really, but even with those blinds closed I could still feel his eyes upon me, looking me over and rummaging through the deepest parts of my mind. I couldn’t understand it. How could a single human being have such a hold on another without ever uttering one word between us? In fact I could barley even make out his body, save those stabbing eyes and his deformed leg. I couldn’t help it, I needed to open the blinds back up and see if he was still standing there, perfectly silent, staring back at me.

But as I leaned over the desk to roll them open, I smelt something odd, something potent, something burning. I walked over to the door and grabbed onto the handle to turn it. Ouch! It had become blistering hot along with the door itself. I walked over to my computer and muted the music from the speakers. All at once, I could hear it. I could hear the flames engulfing my house, eating at every piece of wood like it was candy. The weight of the sound threw me aback. It was as if an army was conquering all that lay outside the confines of this space, devouring any piece that stood in its way.

I looked back out at the window only to find a willow tree with emptiness beneath it. It was all clear now. He had preoccupied my attention, my thoughts, and my curiosities all the while he had already set my house in a blaze. His plan had been set in motion without me ever noticing a thing. Even worse, I had installed metal bar framing on my window, ironically, to save my life from anything that might harm me. I called out loudly to my roommate on the other side of the hallway, but instead was greeted only with a monster that lurked on the other side of door, anxious to break through its composition and take my room as its last victim with me inside.

I paced around the room for ten minutes after alerting the fire department of my impending doom. I searched for anyway or anything that I could use to free myself from this fire bound prison. But there was nothing to be done. I had no water source, no exit strategy and certainly no flame retardant clothing. It was useless. All I could do was sit and hope that the firefighters would win the race to by body. I screamed in an all out panic as I watched the door slowly start to give way to the flames will. The whole picture would of seemed so artistic if I hadn’t known that as soon as the door came down the fire would soon there after plague and engulf my room as quickly as the decomposition would allow.

My short life passed before my naïve eyes. I had barley experienced the human condition. I had never seen the exotic beauty of a foreign country, never participated in a triathlon, never met the girl of my dreams only to be wed a year later on the sands of Oahu. Sadly, I would also never have the chance to witness my child come into this world and watch his growth into a man, a husband and a father himself. Just as important, I had never had the chance to publish my book, record my songs, or even touch another person’s life. I was in my youth, fresh out of college and eager to make a name for myself. I had chosen the brazen path of charting my own course through the talents of the creativity I was so sure I possessed. But now it all seemed so small, so meaningless. I had still amounted to nothing in this world and at this very moment and there was no way I could rectify that. I would just be another fleeting shadow on the earth’s foundation and once the news of my untimely death had passed, I would only be remembered in the memories of my family. It had never occurred me to push every waking moment to leave a lasting imprint along the way. I had taken my sweet time, believing the world was my oyster only to find my lifespan reduced to around a quarter of its intended journey.

As the heat of fire began to seep through the crevices and envelope my room, I called my dad. I wanted at least one person to know that I had loved them and been grateful for there investment in my life. After his own personal panic attack and the subsequent haunting realization of his son’s impending passing, he brought up his recollections of my childhood and the memorable events we had shared together. I knew he was only babbling on to keep me from falling prey to the idea that my time in this room was short, but I digress, his words were mere mumblings in my ear as I continued to think about the inexplicable being that stood outside my house only minutes ago. What wrongdoing had I committed against him to prompt this act of evil upon me? Had I made an insensitive comment to a family member of his in one of my drunken stoopers? Had my words been the final straw in a failing life of one of his loved ones? Had they taken their own life as a result of reading the dark stories I posted on my blog? Did I fail to save someone whose demise was so clearly right in front of me? I didn’t know. Thoughts raced around in my head, searching for any feasible explanation. But each query lead to the same end result, nothing.

By now my father had surrendered to his emotions, crying almost silently as he sat on the other side of a phone so close to my voice and yet in no probable way could he save me as he always had in the clumsy times of my youth. It was odd to me that so much could happen in so little time. That so many causes and effects could transpire and run their course in only a matter of thirty minutes. That at one moment I could be listening to the loud nuances of my favorite band, talking to my friends and enjoying a cold one and so quickly be thrust into the corner of my bed, fighting for the hope that my survival would once again become a possible outcome. I had prayed to God in the hopes that his grace would spare me an eternity in hell just in case there was in fact an afterlife. In fact, it was my hope that my soul’s existence would not end here with so little accomplished, but rather move on to the next life achieving something more meaningful. Still, that hope could not keep my mind off what was about to occur.

As the door finally gave into the heat’s demand and the fire made its way into my room, a calmness came over my body and I resigned myself to the fact that my story had come to its end whether it had finished what it was trying to say or not. I knew my fear was still screaming out somewhere deep down inside of me. But the severe heat and the slow engulfing of the oxygen in my room had silenced its voice and it had left only an acceptance of my current situation in its place. In those last moments, as I gazed upon the magnificent beauty of the inferno, I had never been more peaceful. It was looking me straight in the face. Something meant to be so terrible and horrific in my eyes was profound and alleviating. There was only one more thing to do before it began to pillage my bed and make its way to me. “I love you dad,” I said in a still voice. It was only four small words that to many was merely a passing greeting at the holidays. But for me, in the place I sat, in the position I was, staring down the monster that was shaking the ground under me, love was very last thing I wanted myself to remember.

I braced for the pain that would occur in matter of minutes. That sudden feeling I would experience of pure agony before the sweet release of death. But then to my surprise and more importantly to my relief, the unbearable heat and the now dangerous level of oxygen or should I say lack there of, put me out of my inevitable misery. I was now unconscious, left limp for the fire to wreak havoc on. However, in a way I felt I had won the battle. The blaze would not torture my body without any regard to pain I would feel. Instead my flesh would pass peacefully just the same as my mind had already prepared to do. It was serenity in the face of chaos. What a wonderful way to move on….

What I saw next I’ll never forget. I was sitting on a beach staring out at sky whose colors never stayed the same for more then a couple seconds. My face was greeted by a calm wind that put a smile on my face each time it came up against me. On the clouds, chariots raced around headed towards a seemingly endless finish line and from the water souls rose to the heavens in the hopes that each would be permitted into the city of light. I looked around the beach and watched as other stood up and ran towards the water, plunging themselves into the deep blue abyss. After a while, a feeling came over me that seemed to instruct me to do the same. I stood up and followed suit, running towards the ocean and sinking into its embrace. I swam a ways out before coming back up to the surface. It was effortless. I didn’t have to hold my breathe in this water, nor did I need to close my eyes for fear that the salt would sting them. Instead I gaped at the clarity I was encountering. Before my eyes, I witnessed my father find love again, my sister’s wedding to man of her dreams, my best friend’s joy in welcoming his new son into the world and my girlfriend singing the song we had only written weeks ago with tears in her eyes and a bursting crowd in front of her. In those still waters, I got to see my loved ones find happiness again. They would all move on from this tragedy and live their lives the same they had always intended or maybe even better.

Still the biggest surprise was the overwhelming feeling that I would soon be in the arms of my Mom who had unfairly passed herself from the evils of cancer when I was eighteen. In my life, her beautiful face had begun to fade with the passing of time. But in this water, I could see it more clearly then ever. Her blond hair, blue eyes, rosy cheeks, and signature dimples. There she was, as perfect as she had always been in my eyes. It was then that my head tore out of the water into the warm, fresh air. I felt different at that moment. My body was weightless, free, and cleansed of the burden it had been carrying up until just a minute ago. I couldn’t feel sadness for the loss of my mother, shame for punching Mark Wright in the face when I was falsely convinced that had cheated on my good friend Lucy, guilt for lusting after a married woman who I had kissed the night before after taking seven shots of Jameson whiskey, or even curiosity as to why that man burned me alive without ever even flinching an eyebrow. All the hurt, all the pain, all remorse was no more. I was free of all the evils that had taken place in my short life, yet still privy to all the happy moments that made up the joy in it.

It was time though, to begin my own ascension into the sky, past the white clouds, and onto the heavens. I was overwhelmingly excited and tremendously terrified all at the same time. I had never been to any other place then the flawed planet of earth. If it was all true, I would be heading into a realm where none of the pitfalls of my existence in that universe would be present. Life would be lived as it was meant to be: flawless, unending, gratifying, soothing and for the first time ever, forever fulfilling. There was always an underlying belief deep inside me that such a place existed. Maybe that belief was instilled in all of us, only to be forgotten and buried when we decided to royally screw the world up. I don’t know. But as I ascended from that ocean, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was about to be in the presence of something greater then a human, greater then my father, and even greater then me. I started to walk down a path of clouds towards a gate that was shining brighter then the sun, yet my eyes felt no instinctual need to look away. Instead I felt a warmth in my body that is all but inexplicable. I came upon an entrance, a gate, where what could only be described as a body of radiance, looked me over and examined me. However this wasn’t your routine physical at the doctor’s office.  He pierced my eyes, just as that man had, scouring my soul for anything that might be deemed unforgivable. I confess I was a tad nervous to say the least. After a thorough investigation of all the evils of my life that I could no longer feel, he stepped aside and at last the gates open. It was finally time to experience God and this heaven he spoke so highly of. It was finally time to live a perfect life. It was finally time to exist in a place where wickedness had never found a way through the small crevices and where immorality had never had chance to reign over people. It was a place where the idea of evil had never even been created. My friends, it was finally time for me to experience the magnificence of——

…I awoke to a ceiling full of bright florescent lights and a room occupied by various machines measuring things such as heart rate, pain medication dosage, and brain activity. For a minute I didn’t move. I couldn’t understand what had just happened. I was on the cusp of entering a place of unspoken beauty and now I was laying in what was most likely the Intensive Care Unit on life support. That unfortunate question kept my mind busy for a minute until all at once an excruciating pain enveloped my body. It was as if someone was running a sharp, jagged blade across every single inch of my flesh simultaneously with no foreseeable ending to his cruel torture. I looked down only to find a brutal and merciless distortion of what was once a human body, my body. I screamed out as loud as I could knowing full well the vision of my journey towards heaven was merely a fantasy created by my clever mind to ease the harsh realization that I would in fact live on much longer in this distorted and hideous meet suit as a monster created by a monster. I swear to you on my pathetic life however, that I will find that malevolent creature that started my progression into hell and in time even HE will wish for the same fate he so effortlessly set in motion for me.

Short Story Excerpt (From A Year Ago) – Untitled

Every now and then I like to post some of the fiction writing I am working on. I’m posting this story I wrote while I was walking on my journey a year ago. I found it and it reminded me how much I have grown in my writing in just a year. Later on this morning I will post a short story I wrote in the last day to compare the two. Take a quick look:

DING! DING! DING!

The unsolicited ramblings of the alarm clock rudely awake my dreary body. I desperately scrounge up all the energy I gained over what seems to be an all too short night in order to silence the high-pitched bells of my wake up call. I move my body out of bed and wait impatiently as the drops of water that fall from my showerhead slowly become warm. Stepping under the hot water, I am engulfed in a brief moment of content, but as soon as the feeling comes, so does it fade away along with any hope that this day might be any les monotonous then day that dragged on before it.

I step out, dry off and begin the process of dressing myself in yet another cleanly pressed suit. I stare intently in the mirror, trying for a third time to tie a tie full of an array of colors that barley match the navy blue shirt and black slacks I am currently wearing. Suddenly my eyes move to the clock as I quickly realize that I am running late. Damnit! I rush into the kitchen, grab a nutrition bar and fly out the door. I walk hastily down the stairs into the subway station where I arrive a second too late for the train.

Seems to be all too common for me. However, to top off the morning, I am greeted on the next train by the flirtatious smile of a beautiful woman. Me being the ladies man that I am, I decide to return the look with a smile and a wink of the eye. This didn’t go over well. I received a look of discontent. I then came to find that she had actually been eyeing the good- looking man behind me. A reddish glare consumed my face. Luckily, my stop had come. I rushed off the train feeling a little less embarrassed out of the flawless eyes of the female who wanted nothing to do with me. I walked across the street and entered the office where I slaved at everyday of my miserable week. I step into the elevator along with five other men, similarly dressed and hesitantly prepared to do their part in serving the man.

As I arrived at my desk, I took off my black Armani knock off jacket and sunk into my chair. For eight dreadful hours I went through the motions of a perfect blue cross insurance agent and completed all my contracts early. However the accomplishment came along with a lack of fulfillment, knowing full well no one would ever even do the honors of patting me on the back for my outstanding work. In fact I’m sure not one bigwig exec would even blink an eye over it. To them I was just a number.

After work I headed home in what was now rainy weather. As I sat on the subway numb to my own existence and everyone else, I lost touch with all the feeling and emotion. I pondered briefly over the pathetic reality that I was slowly drowning in a sea of lifelessness. Only monotony was flowing through my desiccated veins, rendering me utterly and completely paralyzed. The tragic thing about being in such a dire state of mind was the harsh truth that as I sunk closer and closer to the sea floor, there was no small bit of relief that someone would come to my aid. . I was stuck in the middle of this predicament with only my loneliness to comfort me. The call for my stop, pulled me out of my diseased mind and reminded me that life didn’t care about what was going on inside me, it still had to go on. I got into my apartment and made some soup. I ate it while watching TV. This was my favorite time of day. It was a chance to be apart of another life for an hour.  A place where friends surround you, life was full of spontaneity and the cruel harshness of your existence didn’t matter. No one judged you; everyone was there to liven up your day. “Oh what a life that would be,” I thought to myself as the show concluded.  I headed off to bed with only that peaceful though left in my mind.

Just Show Up

Note: I don’t have much time to post right now, So I thought I would keep this post at top. I enjoyed writing this, and to this day it still best explains the way I feel about life and living. Hope you enjoy all these posts. I learned a lot over the past year and it’s all on here for you to read if you would like to:

I was thinking about my life and how much it has changed in the last three months. I’ve grown up a little more, I’ve stopped thinking so much about my insecurities, I’ve stuck to certain goals I have set and sometimes I’ve even just had some fun.

All of these things have propelled me forward in such a quick time and given me something to smile about again. But in teaching me there own small lessons, the whole experience has taught me as well. When it comes to life, whether your coming from a hard place or your already on the clouds, you just have to show up and keep going. You have to keep pushing and keep knowing that another day full of these things and others will push you another day foward. It seems that that is really all it takes. Now of course all of that is relative. Somethings will be a hell of alot harder to continue to accomplish each day then others. But look at this way: it’s not about setting a specific time deadline to be finished with your journey. It’s about appreciating that journey each day by accomplishing it’s goal one day at a time. Becuase when you get out of your bed everyday and you accomplish these things you put yourself a couple steps futher up that ever increasing mountain or if your lucky, you get to appreciate the fact that you got to walk a couple more steps in clouds…

But don’t stop there. Every now and then one of those goals will come to it’s conclusion and on that day you will feel on top of the world. Enjoy that feeling on that day. Celebrate it and cherish it. Realize that you are in fact always capable of success and happiness. Do me a favor and hold on to that accomplishment when you need to remind yourself of your self worth. But only relish in it for that day. Because tomorrow’s going to come and new challenges that need those mini goals set for each day in order to overcome will need your attention.

I guess it’s never too good to keep looking back at the past for guidance or happiness. Even if it does provide a sense of comfort or safety to you. If you do it seems to suck those rare things dry. Instead look to today and the new goals you can conquer. Keep adding more onto your day as you finish others and as time allows for it. Tackle a small part of each of them instead of putting your hopes and bets on happiness into only one. It’s too much pressure and it seldom works. In fact, we would all do well to remember that the each problem in our life is just a symptom of our unhappiness and not the key to it.

Do them all, do them small and each time you conquer one, appreciate the confidence it brings whether you’ve finally reached the clouds for a while to come or if you can only be on that single cloud for one day.

Both experiences are needed, both experiences are rewarding and both are apart of your journey. And the journey is something we can never give up on.

Appreciate the past and accomplish today. If you can do this, the future can be whatever you want it to be and accepting that is just another step you take each day…

Thanks for Reading.

Only Human

While I was down in SoCal this weekend, I read an amazing book by a man named Donald Miller called “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.”

I say its amazing more because his books always seem to have an uncanny ability to relate to not only my life as a whole, but each book happens to relate to whatever I am going through at the time I am reading it. Suffice it to say I might be a little biased about his books, but either way I still think he is a good author.

 My point to that little rant was that it had many lessons that I think you will hear me speak about overtime. However there is one that has been on my mind since I read it and I wanted to talk a little about it.

 In his book, there is a little section about relationships and the strain or pressure we put on them. In particular he talks about a relationship between a man and woman and the need we have sometimes to enlist this special person in our lives to rescue us or validate our insecurities. This request, although seemingly harmless, actually tends to put an unreasonable strain on the other person. Most often it will ultimately lead to a break up, because our hopes for this type of rescuing cause the relationship to fail.

 This idea got me thinking of the hope or rather requirements we put into a relationship of any kind. I think often times we expect too much from a friend or family member. We look to them to be our savior in a time when we are in a trench. We expect them to fill that broken part of us going into the relationship and this expectation can cause a riff in the friendship. As humans we are continually broken by different things in our lives and in return we have this need to have someone else fix or at least validate the problem as if it is their duty. But at the end of the day, this other person is still just as messed up and broken as we are.

 Now that’s not to say that friends can help each other out. On the contrary, community is most often the cure to a painful situation. Rather it’s the expectation itself that they must that can put a strain on the friendship and even ultimately ruin the relationship. This problem is not only limited to what you need from another person for yourself.  There is also the idea that we expect people to act or behave a certain way based on who we are and what we like. This naïve expectation is really only a projection of the insecurities of our self and what we might be uncomfortable with.  It can be something like the fact that you might be a driven or ambitious person while your friend is merely a drifter in life, or even as small as something like your liking for city life and your friends liking for the country life. However big or small it might be, it all comes down to this expectation that someone should be the way you feel they should be or else you can’t be compatible as friends.

 Let someone be whoever they want to be. Let them like whatever they want to like. Enjoy them for who they are and the hopefully good friendship they bring to the table. It’s about the community you take part in with this person and how they make you feel. It’s not about whether or not they have the same exact tastes or a requirement to save you whenever you’re falling. Don’t expect so much from some one who has the same pitfalls being a human as you do. If you can just accept them for who they – A person just like you –you can learn to love them for exactly who they are and what makes them special.

 And when you are able to do this, you are able to accept yourself and the problems and quirks you have. When you accept yourself for who you are and those around you for who they are, you can find meaning in those relationships and happiness in this life your living.

 Thanks for Reading.

Give It All Right Now (Guest Post)

NOTE: I have asked my Dad to write a post about something that I think he has done well in life. That is, the ability to give 100% to everything your doing when your doing it. Hope you enjoy…Also check out his blog

My son has very graciously asked me to write a guest blog for all of you. I had been talking with him about how important it is to give 100% to whatever you are doing at the time, almost to the exclusion of anything else. And how you can give that 100% for a short time and quickly change directions and focus.

I remember a great story someone told me about being in the moment. Being present wherever you are. Actually I don’t remember the whole story but the conclusion, or moral is what’s important. It summed up saying that somewhere, there is a man, sitting at work, wishing he was fishing with his son, and somewhere else, there is a man fishing with his son, whose thinking about what he needs to get done at work.

There is no value in either instance. To the man at work, his work is suffering for his daydreaming of being with his son. His son is not benefiting either as he is not with his son. To the man fishing with his son, his distraction of work is not getting the work done, and his son is suffering from the neglect of his dad not being completely there.

It is imperative that we give all of who we are to whatever endeavor we are working on. That we focus completely on what we are doing and do it great. Than go and do whatever else needs to be done.

Sometimes I have a hard time staying focused on the task at hand. Rather than beating myself up or wasting more time pondering why I am not doing what I should be, I will just stop and do something else. Every one of us has a million things that need to be done. It is much more important that we focus on what we can do right now rather than working on something we are not focused on.

Rarely is this a situation where you are being neglectful or is it anything that cannot wait a little while. And how much better will it be when you return to your task fully committed and focused. And in the instances where your full attention is demanded, life and death, emergency type situations, I don’t know anyone that has trouble focusing and doing the best they can. It may not be enough or what you hoped you were capable of, but it will be the best you can.

As you go through your day, keep a list of things you want to get done. If you struggle with one, move onto something else. If you are making dinner, or paying the bills and you can’t seem to focus because you haven’t exercised for the day, stop, go do it. Then come back and pick up where you left off. You will be more focused and committed to success in both tasks for dealing with your distraction.

Ken Kendall

Family Ties- Family Matters – The End

I was gonna talk a little about me today but I figure this whole blog has my thoughts weaved throughout it. All I can say is that at this moment I still feel like I can see this person in my mind of who I am and yet when I look at myself I see someone completely different. However I am working on that, and the more I delve into the things I love, the more what I see and what I am become one.

Well I hope you enjoyed this series of blogs this week and getting to know some of the people around me and how they have helped to shape me over the last twenty one years. More importantly you got see all the good things that these people have to offer their family and those around them. Think on this thought when your looking at your own family because if anything this week has reminded me that although my family has many shortcomings, I am very lucky to have all them in my life and I wouldn’t change this family for anything.

I’m heading out of town to see all this family for the rest of the week, so I won’t be posting everyday, but dont worry you will still see a couple things come out of this blog before Sunday.

Thanks for Reading,

Zack

Family Ties – My Friend, My Family – Janine

When I think of Janine and the person that she is, I come up with the words patient, calm and maybe a little bit quirky. I only really started to interact on a consistent basis with her about two years ago when my dad started to date her, but ever since she has done a stand up job at trying to be as involved in my life as I would like to her to be.

It’s weird sometimes to think that she is my dad’s wife because in all honesty I consider her a friend of mine rather then a step mom. And I think she has always understood this and in return been a friend back to me. However when it comes to being a mom, this woman is top notch at it. I’ve never seen someone who is so calm with her children even when they go at her and get crazy like young children do. She loves with every bit of her heart and she makes an effort to be there for them in anyway she can all the time. On top of that it seems as if she tries her best to understand where they are coming from rather then just her own opinion and because of that I think they all have a much stronger relationship.

Janine has been through a lot. I won’t go into any specifics, but let me tell you, she has seen her fair share of hardships. Yet, if you met her today, you would never know it. She is such a resilient woman. She took these times of pain and anguish and learned from them instead of sulking in the problem. She is someone who looks at the positive side of life and someone who is willing to learn from any lesson whether it is easily taught or not. She has weathered many storms in her life, yet she treated each one as best as she could at the time and moved on when she was ready to. In fact, it is because of the way she deals with suffering that I am always reminded to keep looking at the light on the other side of the tunnel, especially these past two years.

Janine is loving. She is a mother at heart and because of it she is always looking out for everybody. She is someone who constantly checks up on others to make sure they are doing ok. In  a way you could also call her selfless. She often puts everyone else she loves right ahead of herself, no matter what she is dealing with. I know that is no easy task, and the fact that she still does it makes me all the more proud to know her and be in her life. Plus, it is this love that allows her to always accept people for exactly who they are. She does her best to never try to change them, while still offering advice to someone in desperate need of change.

Janine is open. If your lucky enough to know her, then you will realize that she is a person that offers her whole self up to others. I’m not saying she doesn’t keep anything to herself. I’m saying that she lets you know who she is, the good and the bad and because of it, most people will always feel comfortable to share themselves and what they might be going through with her. This is also added by that fact that she doesn’t judge others easily. Instead she looks back on her own life and the troubles she has put others through and instead offers up understanding rather then judgment. It is a special quality that most people can never control but when I think back to all the conversations with her, I find that she has always done her best to listen and understand, rather then to talk and judge.

Which brings me to care and generosity. Janine heart is a different bread altogether. All the qualities I have just said make most of it, but they don’t describe the way she impacts people’s lives. Haven’t met one person yet who could honestly say they haven’t been touch by this woman in some way. I know I’m not describing it to well, but to be perfectly honest its hard to even put into words the way she feels about others. She will push you to reach the limits of your potential, or she will sit with you for hours and just let you work through a hurtful time in your life. And that’s just it, she is the type of person, who if you need it, will just sit there and be there for you for sitting sake. It’s this generosity of her heart and her valuable time that makes her stand out from most people and I think my dad is quite lucky to have found someone who so freely takes care of all his needs and wants.

Now Janine may be all these heartfelt and profound things, but don’t get me wrong, she is a very smart and capable person too. Talk about a small case of rags to riches. This is a person who started at a company as just another secretary doing the simple and mundane job that it is. However instead of doing the duties asks, she went above and beyond and in a relatively short time went all the way up to be one of top salesmen of the company, and manager over all the marketing material. Only people who can truly understand and be patient with others can make such a leap and pull in as much business as she did for her qualifications. With these talents, she was able to actually buy her own house for her and her two kids. As the recession hit hard, she was forced scale back and just let my dad take the financial reins, but I have no doubt that when things calm down and stabilize that her talents will take her much further then this last position. She was made to interact with others and even to possibly serve them in many different ways.  I’m not sure, but I hope such a special gift won’t be wasted when it’s her time to shine once again.

As for now she is content being a loving mother and funny person. Her jokes may be a bit over the top sometimes haha, but the fact is she always puts smiles on the faces of those around her and I think it’s that humor that keeps her going even in these harsh times where nothing is for sure and everyday is tougher then the last. She lifts the spirits of my Dad in these hard times as well. Actually, I honestly think she saved my dad in so many ways over the past two years, that I am confident he will be able to weather this storm he is being hit by and come out back on top. And that’s the thing, My Dad has also had some tough times over the past two years like her, but because of their love for each other each has found a way to see the light of day once again and both have given up all of themselves to each other and their kids.

I want to end with something I want her to know. I never wanted my Dad and Mom to split up. We were a family and no matter how bad it got, family still meant something to me. Yet, as I look at my family now and what it has evolved too, I wouldn’t wish to ever go back to what it was. I know when my mom is ready she will find love again. But as for as my Dad goes, he truly found someone who loves all of him and she looks at him as her knight and shining armor. She makes him feel like a million bucks and he could of never survived without her. She was the perfect fit to his broken heart and now she’s the unshakeable and incorruptible blood that flows through it and makes it the beautiful and pure thing that it is.

Janine is… An Example, A Role Model, A Teacher, A Believer, A Giver, A Saint, A Beauty, A Loving Wife, A Strong Mother, An Unmistakably Generous Person, Someone Who Loves, Someone Who Hopes, Someone Who Cherishes Others, Someone Who Is Always There For You. Someone Smart, Someone Competent, Someone Special….

Like I said, I have only known her for a short time, but as you can tell she has had a big impact on me and the way I look at others and the world. With her as yet another example in my life, I am happy to say I will go even further.

She may be new to my life, but she is My Friend and My Family and these are words I couldn’t be more proud to write…

Tomorrow, I will be talking about who I am. I often tell you who I want to be and the lessons I am learning to get there. But I think you need to see how I currently still see myself so you will be able to understand just how far I have come and am going. So stick around.

Thanks for Reading.

Busy Weekend

Hey guys. The weekend turned out to be a whole lot busier then I thought. So I postponed the next Family Ties post till tomorrow…Hope you all had a good weekend.

Thanks for Reading.

Zack